Friday, July 2, 2010

Your Underwear Is Now Smart

What do you do when you have invented everything worth inventing? Organs can now be harvested, crops genetically modified. Youth is just a scalpel away. Technology is your personal genie, everything material made available with just a flick of a button.

So does it mean that our Scientists and Researchers are sitting idle and vacationing in Honduras? Of course not! They are now fruitfully engaged in making cuddle sprays that make men feel like women. Conducting path breaking research on how cats react to various fragrances. Designing broadband connected bathtubs and mirrors that monitor your health. In future, you and your mirror will be engaged in meaningful conversations - Mirror, mirror on the dresser, is my cholesterol any lesser?

And now brace yourself for the latest breakthrough in the Scientific world. US scientists in response to growing need for wearable healthcare have designed smart briefs. These extra savvy briefs can measure your BP, heart rate and other vital signs via an electronic bio sensor in the waistband. Apart from life saving functions these underpants will have educational features too! Are Scientists conspiring to make Education a pants down affair? But hey look at the bright side. All along it was Superman flashing his red undies and now it is your turn to flash your super-undies.

Wait, it doesn’t stop here. This invention comes close on heels of “Grow your own rice bra” developed by Triumph International. This fun bra transforms into a rice growing kit and comes equipped with gardening gloves, a water hose as belt and recyclable plastic that double as cups. Females can now keep not just their cultural but agricultural pursuits close to their heart. Unfortunately all you budding farmers waiting to lay their hands on this rice-paddy will have to put your starchy dreams on a back burner- My Tanbo Bra (yes, this marvel has a name) is yet to be launched in the market.

Imagine your underwear beeping and buzzing in middle of business meetings, sprouting grass and generating enough heat to make you cringe. Why can’t our underwear do what it was originally intended to do instead of doubling up as our guardian angel and hobby kit? Ever single item we use has a dazzling array of features making us forget its original intent. A mobile is not just a phone but a multi tasking device that takes pictures, measures your BMI, lets you surf the net, watch movies and text mutilate English beyond recognition. A pad with an I claims to alter your life with its’ gazzilion features. Kindle promises to rekindle your literary affair. Are we losing track of who we are and what we want?

Me, I know exactly what I want. I am just waiting for the invention that will help us grow mushrooms in our underwear. After all the fungi does prefer shady areas and often lands up in a soup 

Source...Mail Today


  1. Hey Purba
    truly !! we are too naughty , esp to see teacher 'this' naughty is A-musing ! I hope few Scientists get inspired from your ideas and we have those products soon in market ;)

  2. i really loved this is naughty, and very well done..i am looking now for technology which will write my blogs for me..

  3. Wow!! What a wonderful post!!
    "Mirror, mirror on the dresser, is my cholesterol any lesser?"... How cool!!
    Truly weird inventions these would be!!
    LOL @ mushrooms!! Brilliant!! :)

  4. I guess the attitude of going overboard with everything has not spared even our underwear...sigh!!

  5. Dear Dagadu ...Scientists are not looking for inspiration, especially from me. These are actual inventions and not a figment of my imagination :)

    Madhusudhan...Yea a few brisk instructions and your article is ready! I am ready to do Eureka.

    Shilpa...Mucho thanks :)

  6. Hi Purba! I must say there is a freshness in the way you write and the words flow with effortless ease, and we the readers are kind of eager to catch each drop splashed our side. Very fluid way of writing, I like it!

    and yes, you do have opinions about everything!!

  7. and yes, dear indibloger, you have a new follower, Tanu.

  8. LP..It's actually meant for US soldiers. Non invasive health care is what they call it :))

    Tanu..Thank you for joining and glad you like what I write. Did leave a comment on your blog :))

  9. I am just waiting for the invention that will help us grow mushrooms in our underwear. After all the fungi does prefer shady areas and often lands up in a soup.

    Oh my God!!

  10. And freaky ! PR why farmers, men would always be hungry, seeing the rice on bra or the rice bra.
    And chips in phone while talking to mother, wife, sis, daughter, to know, " what women want " ? With a Lie Detector such inventions should be available in due course

    Sunny Malik

  11. wonderful wonderful post :-)

  12. Hmmm.....paddy field bras are fine but they should install a stove and a cooker or a mini microwave in the undies. I mean, one can't eat the rice raw.
    And with mushrooms one could even try making cheese and wine in the underwears. Too bad for the company that makes Mycoderm the anti-fungal powder.
    Don't forget the armpits. A thingie attached their could help roast fish and heat bread. Plus they could again double as mushroom factories.
    There is tremendous potential in this market. You just have to use your imagination to tap it.

  13. Aathira...Scared you didn't I?

    Sunny...LOL @ Men will always be hungry

    Raja..Long time :))

    Prateek...Oh dear what a scary scary thought. With so many appendages how will we ever walk!!!

  14. Well,everyone want to go green.So these will be just normal attires in future.Afterall fashion models have already shown the path to these scientists.Girls using cabbage bra's,grass skirts,mean wearing equivalent natural gooseberry bottoms.

  15. imagination running riot!
    sounded labored. your normal freeflow was missing.
    enjoyable but not upto your excellent standard!

  16. This is actually fascinating.I wouldn't be surprised if cyborg's become a reality in our daily life.
    Technology is already compact - but in the next gen - technology will be intuitive.

    so the wonder bra might become soft when you feel romantic and or change form and become an iron lock when you are angry. Likewise male under wears will be open and lock only to pre registered person or environment. !! ha ha !

  17. Nithin R S...Edible, wearable clothing???

    Magiceye..Ah really? But I had fun penning it down :))
    Btw appreciate your constructive criticism.

    GB...Mood sensitive undergarments is a wonderful idea. And having to register sounds good..LOL

  18. Textmutilate........u said it

  19. why did my blog bomb big time?

    neways nice to hear that so much of research is being done on undies....!

  20. all the world in an underwear~an apt motif of our times!
    Well said! Purba.

  21. That last paragraph was gross.:-/ Otherwise I liked the post. I always like your posts with sarcastic tones.

  22. AKP :))

    Nikhi...they call it non invasive healthcare.


    Nethra...Oh dear, gross was not the intent!!!

  23. Landed on your blog from indiblogger and I'm glad I did.
    Satiric take on technologies-loved the post very much! :)
    Btw I was reminded of Abby's vibrating panties from The Ugly Truth while going through your post...which was gross but funny in a way. :\

  24. Lol ... reminds me of the good old days of .."yeh andar kaa mamlaa hai" we really have to try so "hard". ...loved it Purba....not sure how many women would suscribe for the free coupons on that website ... lol

  25. Lol @ : Mirror,mirror on the dresser,is my cholestrol any lesser?
    And it has preempted one of my fav lines.
    Purba,minus the 'b',if rightly permuted,can be at loss.What an Idea,Madam ji !

  26. Hey yours is a nice blog.. and this one was really cool and funny

  27. Samadrita.. Hey thanks for visiting my blog. Do remember watching the movie but can't seem to recollect "the epic scene" :D

    Anirudh..Purba minus b would be completely lost!!

    Sayandeep..Thanks for dropping by.

  28. Fantastic post. I just couldn't stop laughing. I have send the links to few of my friends.

    By the way, growing Mushrooms in the underwear is a very good idea. A cracker this one.

  29. funny!!!

    I wonder who would have thought of such a thoughtful invention as that of rice bra!! :D

    The end made me grin! (:

  30. Joshi..:D

    MMB... There's one that comes with a sushi set and another one with Solar panels. Trust the Japs to come up with these ideas.

  31. Haha... enjoyed it thoroughly!


  33. Naughty, naughty...belly hurting funny.


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