Monday, February 21, 2011

Mad About Me.....


When Bryan Adams wrote “18 till I die” it was with him in mind.  A finance guru nurturing his myriad interests in amchi Mumbai – life is a celebration for him.  Today in honour of A-musing turning 1, he descends from his pedestal (or rather the golf course)  to take pot-shots at me.  Presenting what goes on in Madhusudhan(Mad) Menon’s mind........

Maxmayur is a lucky man. He beat me to the punch by interviewing the eastern sun before I woke up. And he being a recognized blogger got access to the award-winning celebrity blogger. I am sure he was assisted by the Blogger Gods. While licking my wounds, I decided not to feel sorry for this perceived blogger apartheid, and do my own interview. So what if she is not available for the interview? I have read all her posts, and feel I can answer all my questions, on her behalf without inconveniencing her and insisting on her presence. So the interview, with apologies to maxmayur, and the famous A-Musing blogger went like this:

Me: Madam, can I call you madam?
Purba : Of course not. That is what you call school teachers and the ones who run bordellos. I have also heard that that is what they call the fearless leader of the party that rules our country.

Me: Then, is it ok to call you Behenji?
Purba: Arre, are you insane? That is what they call Mayawatiji, the fearless leader of our downtrodden.
Me: Then maybe I can call you Purba ji?
Purba: I hate the Jee word. It makes me sound like a scam..2G, CWG and Blogger G

Now I already am at my wits end. I rule out Mataji, Rayji, Bloggerji etc. Now I have a brainwave.

Me: Why should I call you any names? Let me just ask my questions then. How do you select what you blog on?
Purba: That is a trade secret. It is like asking Coca cola for their secret recipe. But I will tell you this much. I have my eyes and ears in very high places. The last post for instance was inspired by a late night telephone caller from Lucknow. She was upset about the media furore over her simple desire to keep her footwear clean. And I felt that nobody should be deprived of his right to remove dhool from her Bata sandals.   

Me: How did you get started on blogging?

Purba: Arre, Menon...what kind of a blogger are you? If you are one, you should know how one starts. The problem is not how one starts, it is where you finish that is important. I always think of the end before the beginning. And if you know your Indian philosophy, the beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning..
(Now I feel like calling her Guruji, but am afraid to start on that track again)

Me: Have you ever suffered from writers block?
Purba: What is that? No blocks. Only blogs.  Anyway if there is a block, one can always bypass it and I’m not suggesting surgery!

Me: Have you ever been at a loss for words, then?
Purba: There you go again. That sweet boy Mayur never asked me such faltu questions.  He knew that I am an award winning blogger who has no loss or gain from words and never asked such absurd questions.

Me: I am so sorry. I am not as accomplished a blogger like you or Shri Maxmayurjee. Can I ask you your views on love, since it is the month of February?
Purba: Now you are getting to the point. I have asked all my followers for their views on love, especially on the woh woman.  But let me tell you, love has nothing to do with February.  I believe love has no season and needs no reason.  

Me: What happens when love ends?
Purba: You start again.

Me: With the same one?
Purba: It has nothing to do with one. Minimum two are required.

Me: Very correct. What about same sex love?
Purba: Now why are you bringing sex into it? My blog is not like that. But sex is also unexciting for one, but good for two.

Me: But I remember reading your blog about Hesh and Paes. Wasn’t that about same sex love?
Purba: Uff, that was about victory celebrations. Not about sex, you one-track minded man.

Me: Do you have any advice for aspiring bloggers like me?
Purba: You...? I don’t know about that.  But for other aspiring bloggers, keep writing till your ball- point’s ink dries out and who knows what you write might start making sense to you and all.

As I put my notes away, I can’t help thinking that I should have prepared better, come up with questions that would have left her tongue tied for a change.   Anyway, from now on, I will blog under a different name, and approach her for another interview later.

Me: Thank you very much Madam, oops Purbaji, Oops…..oopsji…jeee….er..r..er.. I give up..
Purba: *Smirk* You, my dear man, should have given up long ago!
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32 comments:

  1. Here again, Im the first! yeah!!! Typical Purba ray type post, but not so purba-ish, hold on can there be a word coined in English dictionary like "purbaish"? Don't ask me what does that mean...by this time you all must know what that word means :)

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  2. WoW! Thoroughly enjoyed it! :D

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  3. Haha...this is ultimate! You two should spend more time together :-D

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  4. Hmmm.....interesting. By the way...must congratulate you Mr. Menon for having such a brilliant imagination. :)

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  5. @purba - you would scare any interviewer away any day.. hussshhh! :-)

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  6. LOL, you can really butcher your interviewer if he comes ill prepared. :P

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  8. Hmm. Since everyone seems to be interviewing you, I must do one as well. What do you think, Madamji? ;)

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  9. Geee....or Jeee....;) That was a nice interview to read...Should say i was tongue-tied reading that...Poor interviewer/ blogger!!!

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  10. hey Purba, I have been away from blogosphere for sometime. I am yet to read your posts in February. I started with this post and it was a good read. I wonder if you have special cells in your brain that you come up with such howlarious posts consistently????

    Keep it up Purbaji..err madam.....err I mean... purba behen????..errr...I give up Purba.

    Always Happy

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  11. Purba bhai (No Ji, No Madam)The post is completely ROFL. It takes two to tango.

    You are good. Seriously good.

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  12. Anto...Purbaish...is ishhhhh

    Giribala...LOL, he loved your suggestion.

    Mayank...Menon has painted a beautiful picture of me. @ Menon I'll keeeel you.

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  13. Carpe Diem...You better come wearing your Ray-Bans :P

    Cloud-nine...tongue tied why??

    Always Happy...Hey long time...hadn't you come to India for your vacay?

    Showa...It's was Menon's great idea :))

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  14. A howling dramatic monologue;)!

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  15. My pen is dry, my tongue is tied..
    By the chill that kills
    The warmth of the eastern sun..

    Like Robert Bruce, I will try..
    And try again
    To blog some more just for fun.

    Thank you everybody, especially Purba jee, er..madamji...CWG.., for letting me bask in your sun.

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  16. Awesome. I too thought to go for a Q/A post when my blog turns 1. Now I need to figure out something else. :P

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  17. Mr. Menon, that was a job done well !

    Purba, the Dudette ROCKS!!!

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  18. "2G, CWG and Blogger G"

    Blogger G!! :)

    Congratulations on one year of A-musing blogging!!!

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  19. Oye, simply loved it...hilarious!

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  20. That was a good one MenonJi! :-)

    -maxmayurjee :-P

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  21. G is in the air...

    Prateek...Hey don't let this stop you, it was Menon's idea anyway.

    Pals....Hahaha

    IHM...Thank you for your wishes.

    Rajashree....:D

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  22. Purba ji hats off to you...You rule!

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  23. umashankar...Glad you liked Menon's LMAO post.

    Alka...Thanks babe and you rock!

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  24. Aur ji. Nice post. Faked narcissism could not have been any more humorous! :D
    Interviewer ki toh laga di aapne, Ji. :D

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  25. Does it really sound like you? I suppose you are wittier than that. Anyway, it was a funny read. :D

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  26. D2...Madhu Jee and his self deprecating sense of humour.

    Nethra...Well, that's his perception :))

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  27. enjoyed the irony well plotted. especially the ji,

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  28. That was a wonderful read.absolutely perfect for Purba's blog. Could just imagine and empathise with Menon who was kept tongue tied by the eastern beauty :)

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  29. Madhu Jee is now busy fretting about a scam called JPC.

    And Zephyr, he's a good actor :)

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