Mad About Me.....

When Bryan Adams wrote “18 till I die” it was with him in mind.  A finance guru nurturing his myriad interests in amchi Mumbai – life is a celebration for him.  Today in honour of A-musing turning 1, he descends from his pedestal (or rather the golf course)  to take pot-shots at me.  Presenting what goes on in Madhusudhan(Mad) Menon’s mind........

Maxmayur is a lucky man. He beat me to the punch by interviewing the eastern sun before I woke up. And he being a recognized blogger got access to the award-winning celebrity blogger. I am sure he was assisted by the Blogger Gods. While licking my wounds, I decided not to feel sorry for this perceived blogger apartheid, and do my own interview. So what if she is not available for the interview? I have read all her posts, and feel I can answer all my questions, on her behalf without inconveniencing her and insisting on her presence. So the interview, with apologies to maxmayur, and the famous A-Musing blogger went like this:

Me: Madam, can I call you madam?
Purba : Of course not. That is what you call school teachers and the ones who run bordellos. I have also heard that that is what they call the fearless leader of the party that rules our country.

Me: Then, is it ok to call you Behenji?
Purba: Arre, are you insane? That is what they call Mayawatiji, the fearless leader of our downtrodden.

Me: Then maybe I can call you Purba ji?

Purba: I hate the Jee word. It makes me sound like a scam..2G, CWG and Blogger G

Now I already am at my wits end. I rule out Mataji, Rayji, Bloggerji etc. Now I have a brainwave.

Me: Why should I call you any names? Let me just ask my questions then. How do you select what you blog on?

Purba: That is a trade secret. It is like asking Coca cola for their secret recipe. But I will tell you this much. I have my eyes and ears in very high places. The last post for instance was inspired by a late night telephone caller from Lucknow. She was upset about the media furore over her simple desire to keep her footwear clean. And I felt that nobody should be deprived of his right to remove dhool from her Bata sandals.   

Me: How did you get started on blogging?
Purba: Arre, Menon...what kind of a blogger are you? If you are one, you should know how one starts. The problem is not how one starts, it is where you finish that is important. I always think of the end before the beginning. And if you know your Indian philosophy, the beginning is the end, and the end is the beginning..
(Now I feel like calling her Guruji, but am afraid to start on that track again)

Me: Have you ever suffered from writers block?
Purba: What is that? No blocks. Only blogs.  Anyway if there is a block, one can always bypass it and I’m not suggesting surgery!

Me: Have you ever been at a loss for words, then?

Purba: There you go again. That sweet boy Mayur never asked me such faltu questions.  He knew that I am an award winning blogger who has no loss or gain from words and never asked such absurd questions.

Me: I am so sorry. I am not as accomplished a blogger like you or Shri Maxmayurjee. Can I ask you your views on love, since it is the month of February?
Purba: Now you are getting to the point. I have asked all my followers for their views on love, especially on the woh woman.  But let me tell you, love has nothing to do with February.  I believe love has no season and needs no reason.  

Me: What happens when love ends?
Purba: You start again.

Me: With the same one?
Purba: It has nothing to do with one. Minimum two are required.

Me: Very correct. What about same sex love?
Purba: Now why are you bringing sex into it? My blog is not like that. But sex is also unexciting for one, but good for two.

Me: But I remember reading your blog about Hesh and Paes. Wasn’t that about same sex love?
Purba: Uff, that was about victory celebrations. Not about sex, you one-track minded man.

Me: Do you have any advice for aspiring bloggers like me?
Purba: You...? I don’t know about that.  But for other aspiring bloggers, keep writing till your ball- point’s ink dries out and who knows what you write might start making sense to you and all.

As I put my notes away, I can’t help thinking that I should have prepared better, come up with questions that would have left her tongue tied for a change.   Anyway, from now on, I will blog under a different name, and approach her for another interview later.

Me: Thank you very much Madam, oops Purbaji, Oops…..oopsji…jeee….er..r..er.. I give up..

Purba: *Smirk* You, my dear man, should have given up long ago!