Why Do People Find It So Tough To Be Kind To Others?

Courtesy - quickmememe.com 

A friend while driving got hit by a car that appeared out of nowhere. When he saw the car slow down he braced himself for a lengthy altercation; a norm in the NCR. People would rather kill or prefer dying than admit it was their fault. Just as he was rolling up his sleeves and taking deep breaths, the fellow got out and apologised profusely for his rash driving. When he offered to pay for damages, my friend couldn’t believe his ears.

A common courtesy in any part for the world but certainly not in Gurgaon.

In a city where everyone’s is always in a rush but no one ever reaches on time, we are forever engaged in mortal combat. We push, step on each other’s feet, honk louder, raise our middle finger and are ready to snap at even the slightest provocation. Rarely do we stop to let someone else pass at a busy intersection. We are like raging bulls, ready to charge at anyone who dares challenge us. When an odd soul does stop to let other raging bulls pass, let the hassled lady take the coveted parking-spot, all he gets is a dead fish look. The husband makes it a point to hold the doors of the elevators for women with kids in our apartment building, yet I’ve seen no one turn around to give him a grateful smile.

It’s as if saying thank you and sorry is a bigger sin than hurling expletives at strangers.

I get it, you’ve had a bad day. Your new boss is a fire breathing dragon and a blood sucking vampire rolled into one. The last time you got a bonus was before the big bang. And your girlfriend who can’t even spell loser just called you a looser. Of course you are &*%#&*)&$ mad! And the only way you can restore order is by making random people around you (usually lower in social hierarchy) as miserable as you are. Who in turn dutifully pass on their angst to yet another hapless soul. Sooner than you can say ‘tere baap kaa…,’ the world around you is like a cauldron of negativity. You hold your aching head in your hand and wonder, why is everyone one around me so nasty?

It’s like being stuck in traffic and complaining about it. Dude, you are the traffic!

Add to it a strange persisting mentality that equates aggressiveness as a show of power and niceness as a sign for ‘come trample all over me and take advantage’. So it comes as no surprise why people are almost afraid of being nice.

When it comes to getting work done, no one’s willing to move their butt till you scream at them like a banshee. Every time I have tried being nice with the plumber or electrician, they stretch my patience like chewing gum and a two day job threatens to become a two week nightmare. It’s only when I turn into a menacing mafia don and swing the kitchen knife suggestively, does the job starts showing signs of getting completed.

Does that make me feel good? Of course not! But certain people are extremely persistent when it comes to bringing out your hidden fangs.

Even in daily soaps that play endlessly on TV, it’s the evil bahu who has all the fun while the mild mannered one cries all day while she swabs the floors of her mansion. It takes five years and 692 episodes for her family to finally take notice of her and come to her rescue.

Am I making a case for aggressiveness and pleading with you to turn into a wicked warlord who expects others to obey him – if not by choice then certainly by force? Absolutely not! What I’m trying to say is, let us be more appreciative of the ones who are accommodating, are willing to listen to you and extend empathy. Someone’s kindness is certainly not a license for you to take him for granted. Rather they deserve your love and respect. Listen to the soft-spoken friend of yours whose voice often gets drowned in the cacophony of loud voices. More often than not, it’s she who makes the most sense. When someone asks you nicely to do something, make sure she’s first in your priority list rather than the last. Don’t make those good-hearted souls feel like useless pieces of shit who you think of only when you are in trouble and need a shoulder to cry on.

In this dog eats dog world, they are our beacons of hope for a humanity that often disappoints us and lets us down. Also, as tempting as it maybe, don’t try to counter someone’s snarkiness with yours. It only makes things worse. My most cherished memories are those of complete strangers who held doors for me, offered to carry my heavy shoulder bags, stopped to ask if I was lost when they saw me looking confused at a busy intersection, walked the extra mile with me to make sure I was safe. Besides filling my heart with gratitude, they made me want to be a better person.

It’s doesn’t take too much of our time to stop and try to make someone’s day better with a kind gesture. So, what’s stopping us? True, some of them may not be as appreciative but I don’t think their lack of manners should stop us from showing consideration.

If rudeness can perpetuate itself like a virus, why not kindness?