May the Most Beautiful Face Win the Delhi Elections

The keenly fought Delhi Assembly Polls are proving to be the Bigg Boss of elections with each party stooping lower to conquer. Just a few weeks back, Kiran Bedi, BJP’s brahmastra against Aam Admi in muffler, anointed Modi as the most beautiful face and leaving Amit Shah heartbroken.

Ironically, gushing about your leader’s beauty is far from a foolproof way of towing away your electorate’s heart, especially when it belongs to form

Image courtesy - twitter.com

er Press Council chairman and retired Supreme Court judge, Katju. After a close inspection of Kiran Bedi from all angles and a round of questions grilling her on world peace and her beauty regimen, he declared Shazia Ilmi as the most beautiful, hence deserving to be BJP’s CM candidate.

He said “If Shazia had been made their C.M. candidate BJP wud(sic) have definitely won the Delhi elections. People vote for beautiful faces, as in Croatia. Even a person like me who does not vote wud(sic) have voted for Shazia.”

He further added that almost all Indian politicians are rogues and scoundrels, so, it makes more sense to elect a beautiful face to betray the electorate’s trust.

This is yet another milestone moment for women who are solely judged on the basis of their looks, irrespective of their achievements and the accolades they win. This comes as a great relief to the Australian journalist who in writing the obituary for the bestselling author (and neurophysiologist) Colleen McCullough, chose to focus on her lack of looks and ample weight and how she, despite these shortcomings, managed to attract men.

It’s hoped that Katju’s counsel will have many takers since “90% of Indians are idiots” (and most of them in Delhi).

Interestingly, much before Katju came up with this well-meaning advice, Indian voters elected the ‘most beautiful face according to Kiran Bedi’ to show them achhe din.

This development brings unexpected joy to beauty contestants who are mostly unemployed even after winning beauty pageants.

Since we are not only pathetic but have telepathic powers as well, it’s safe to call ourselves a telepathetic nation.

It is learnt from reliable sources that Congress, the nation’s most hopeless party, has approached Sunny Leone to lead them to victory ‘under her able guidance’ and make them rise to the occasion.

Unfortunately, great thought leaders are mostly misunderstood and jeered by lesser mortals. This time was no different with Katju being slammed as too sexist even for an Indian male his age. Justice Katju begged to differ and claimed he was just a lover of ‘phools’ who was simply admiring beautiful flowers from a distance and not plucking them.

It may be noted, this is not the first time Katju has been slammed for his unconventional views. He had on previous occasions decreed that ‘women who remain single are prone to have psychological problems’. He had also said that gay relationships and gay marriages were "all humbug and nonsense".

With great age comes the license to say outrageous things and passing it off as senility.

Thanks to his fabulous sense of humour, Justice Katju is now being hailed as the Chief Jester of India. In his new role as CJI – Shri Katju extolled Indians to develop a sense of humour and not take any of his statements seriously. In fact they should add a dollop of chaat masala and a generous squirt of lemon and go haha and not gaga over them.

Many regard this is as a populist gesture by Markandya Katju to endear himself to the masses by becoming as idiotic as them
Meanwhile, Mr Kejriwal leader of AAP who is seen as a strong contender for the CM’s post has tweeted that he’ll stage a dharna outside Shahnaz Hussain’s salon and demand fair and lovely potions for all Delhizens. Once cured of unfairness they will surely vote for the most deserving candidates.