The Return of the Didi

Courtesy Economic Times

There’s a shiver of excitement coursing through the Trinamool cadre. Their very own Mamata Di has now achieved global notoriety. Soon after Time magazine featured her in their exclusive 100 most influential list, Washington Post went ahead and called her the biggest (note the compliment – BIGGEST!) obstacle to India’s liberalization.

It is indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo.

Mamata Di has always been best friends with controversy. Starting as a state level player where she put pressure in CPM’s noses (naak me dum kar diya), she soon graduated to a national phenomenon. A tireless crusader of rollbacks and a slayer of bills, Didi is now the government’s nagging migraine. After stunning the world with her victory over the rusty Reds, as commander-in-supreme of her state she has now moved on to bigger and better targets. The bhodromohila not only decides which colour to paint her city with but also decides on behalf of the PM whether he says yes to Haseena in Bangladesh.
 

It appears Ms Banerjee’s growing clout has world leaders shitting in their pants. It’s not only the fossil CPM and malnourished Maoists who are conspiring to send Didi heavenwards. Korea, Venezuela and Hungary are after her behind (pechhone porey achhe). These bankrupt countries are so worried that they are willing to pour money from their empty pockets into Pakistan’s much feared ISI, who have been assigned the honourable job to kill Di.

It is indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo. Their very own Didi is more Wanted than Don.

But Banerjee Di is always a step ahead of her enemies. While the rest of the country was busy making fun of her paranoia of cartoons, it was Mamata who unravelled a hidden message to assassinate her in the cartoon that a bored JDU professor had floated on FB. “Mamata Banerjee eez not a cartoon. A section of the mediaah called it a cartoon. But they are wrong. It contained the word 'Bhanish', which means a plan to assassinate and keel Mamata Banerjee” the Chief Minister clarified at a party meeting. She also alleged a conspiracy through Facebook, Twitter and SMS and said - I am being shown in Facebook. Now, it is my turn. I bheel show you Facebook.




Courtesy India Today

Didi is Didi. Instead of playing victim, she has ordered MP5 series submachine guns for the sake of her safety. Kolkata police is excited about this new development. After years of handling water cannons to disperse the bhodrolok populace protesting against poverty in Nicaragua, they will finally get to play with real toys.

Her fans and followers, otherwise known as Trinamool Congress have joined Didi bachao andolan, launched by their beloved leader herself. Anybody who dares to question her or laugh at her will henceforth be branded as “Ma-oh-eesht”.

In the latest unprecedented development, Ms Banerjee has stunned the world by bringing home the much coveted IPL trophy. It is under her charismatic captaincy her knights managed to overthrow Amma’s boys and staked their claim to victory. As Korea, Venezuela and Hungary watched the live telecast in helpless anger, Dids cocked a snook at them and proclaimed - Bengal is proud. The bhiktry of KKR is like bhiktry of the world. Kim smashed his Lego missile, Chavez started chewing his vuvuzela furiously and Hungary threw its cold soup down the drain. Last heard, ISI is planning to relocate to the Himalayas to promote world peace.

With tears brimming in her eyes bankrupt Didi proceeded to present her knights with gold chains that she had personally snatched from Bappi Lahiri. Ironically the actual Bengal cricket team that had lifted the Vijay Hazare trophy was given the mushroom treatment – kept in the dark and fed garbage. Here is a short quiz for Didi – please name Bengali players in the KKR team that played the finals.

It was indeed a proud moment for Poschim Bongo. From a national migraine, their beloved slayer of Red has now graduated to an international embarrassment.

Korbo naa, jeetbo naa, kintoo lodbo re.

Source 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/indiahome/indianews/article-2151788/Bankrupt-Didi-finds-hero-CM-claims-slice-KKR-glory-failed-year-Portibortan-taking-SRKs-Knights.html?ito=feeds-newsxml

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/CPM-Naxals-plotting-to-kill-me-with-help-from-ISI-Mamata-tells-US-daily/articleshow/13401800.cms