Two tight slaps!

Somberi.com

I will refrain from expressing angst against Kapil Saiborg’s attempts to be a giant broom that is out to clean the filth that floats on the World Wide Web.  No, not porn, not morphed images of celebrities on nude bodies, not fundamentalist propaganda, not the step by step guide on how- to- kill- your- neighbor- in- 10 –minutes- flat… but material deemed objectionable against politicians and religious communities.  I suspect God was added as an afterthought to lend credence to his indignation. It is another matter that Saiborg ended up giving publicity to all that he wanted to hide.  Within minutes the whole world hit the Google button to search for Sonia Gandhi and MMS and what made Saiborg angry!

I will applaud the chivalry in him that wants to protect the lady and her minions from the vitriol spewed by the nameless and the faceless.  Offending images that we are quick to dismiss as juvenile attempts at humour, but our polity looses sleep on.  I am surprised.  All along I was under the impression that being thick-skinned is a must-have quality to be a politician.  

Saiborg has a dream – he dreams of a Utopian world of subjects modeled after Gandhi’s monkeys –deaf, dumb and blind to all things disagreeable.  An Indiayeah of yes-men.  It’s great that you are dying to play the strict school principal out to discipline his errant students.   Three cheers for Kapil, the self-appointed crusader for model behaviour.  Bur Sir, if you expect us to shut up and behave, we have similar expectations from you as well.

One has to watch a live telecast of Lok Sabha proceedings to understand what I am talking about.  Members of the assembly throwing paper balls at the speaker, jumping enthusiastically over benches to express their anguish, hurling their footwear at each other.  My heart swells in pride when I see people who we elected to lead our country behave like a bunch of adults who forgot to grow up; who think protesting is their birthright and contributing to public life is a mere formality that is not to be taken seriously.  

Your esteemed colleagues lack basic etiquettes and all Meira Kumar can say is “Shant rahiye, baith jaiye”..?  The school teacher in me is itching to give them two tight slaps!

The Opposition’s hysterical reaction to FDI in retail was like the icing on the cake.  We saw our elected argue, counter argue and disrupt the Parliament for six consecutive days.  That these international chains with refrigerated transport and cold storages could stop farm produce from rotting, and might have benefited the farmers was of no consequence to anyone.  We will continue paying Rs 13 for a kilo of potatoes that the farmer sells for 3 and the rest will line a slimy middleman’s pocket.  And the middleman in turn keeps the local neta happy.  Yet, we were made to believe that all our economy needs is a Walmart to collapse.  The GDP can head south, industrial growth can go underground but we need to prove our point.  

To make it worse Sushma Swaraj has the temerity to suggest that by making the government rollback FDI, she made them bow to the people’s wishes? Excuse me! Nobody even bothered to ask us.

Ironically when Delhi’s High Court was rocked by bomb blasts, Advani jee requested that the house be adjourned early. Why? Because they wanted to mourn at leisure.  Strange isn’t it? When the members of the house should have worked overtime and tried to arrive at a cohesive solution to tackle terror, they chose to take a half day instead!  Isn’t it a classic case of misplaced priorities? 

I don’t think we are unjustified in demanding an exemplary behaviour from our elected.  Leaders after all are expected to lead by example, so why not have a code of conduct for them as well?  And if you have the liberty to tell us how to feel and what to write, we can expect some modicum of decency from you as well. 

Before we proceed let’s get one thing straight – you were elected to serve the public and not rule over them.  So as public servants when you plot, plan, defame, protest instead of doing your job – we have all the right to feel incensed.  As employees if we can be subjected to appraisal through Annual reviews and confidential reports, then by the same logic we should be allowed to scrutinize your performance as well.  

We do not have enough good schools and colleges, our grains rot in granaries while prices shoot through the roof, files collect dust in some babu’s office – so it’s logical for me to feel dissatisfied and demand accountability.  I hope you do not expect us to sit back and burp in satisfaction instead! When millions of people show as much respect as electing you to be the MP of the largest democracy in the world, the least we can expect is honesty and sincerity at your end.  Is this too much to ask?

I am given to understand that you made an impassioned speech and asked your fellow Parliamentarians to refrain from obstructing proceedings.  “It is our job to work, we get paid for it. It is not just issue of money, it is an issue of public service.”  So how about translating all these empty words into reality?  How about implementing no work, no pay legislation if minimum business is not transacted!  Why is it when comes to us, laws are framed instantly while your fraternity continues to steal from public coffers, shirk work, create controversies with impunity?  

So don’t tell me that you’ll happily go around denying me my rights as a citizen while I am expected to wait patiently for change.  And if you are in such a hurry to clean the world to heal your wounds, I can certainly help you out.  NASA has just discovered Earth’s twin, located merely 600 hundred light years away.  A cozy little planet with No FB, No Twitter, No online hate, No Anna and his bunch of loonies - just like the Utopian existence you are so desperately seeking.  Why don’t you and your colleagues shift bag and baggage to the mystical Kepler -22b?  Trust me; no one will miss you even for a second.