Of mobiles, booze and much more....

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Next time you want to guess a woman’s age just check her mobile. According to Social Analyst David Chalke, your mobile could give strangers insight into your attitude towards your work, rest, play and your age. iPhone is the alfa romeo and is preferred by people who want to have a control over their lives. LG is the preferred brand for women aged between 14 and 24. Sony Ericsson users like a full social life and fast food. Samsung users tend to be conservative dressers over 50. Blackberry users are high earners aged 35-49. Nokia users are unlikely to be in the 14-24 age group and less likely to have played arcade video games in the last 3 months. This solves a major dilemma for me; I know which brand I’ll be picking up for my next mobile. After all who doesn’t want to appear younger! And since I have never stuck to a single brand, I now know that I’ve lived an entire lifetime (14-50) in the last decade.

The Japanese prefer things intimate and have moved way beyond their mobiles. After flooding the market with rice growing bras, posterior shower jets and perfume sprays to keep the stink at bay, they have now gone a step ahead and installed urine controlled games in Tokyo urinals. Toylet makes sure, not a drop of you goes waste. You can now aim to please – erase graffiti, get a pressure rating for your pee or even do fun things like blowing the dress of a girl! Peeing will never be the same again! Did you know that the Japs have a morbid fascination for poop as well –the rest I’ll leave to your imagination!

Doctors are now following what Devdas knew all along - alcohol can cure your achy breaky heart. The medical fraternity is using the tipple to treat heart patients. Before you erupt into a loud hic hic hurray and run off to smoke a celebratory ciggie, let me burst the bubble for you. The alcohol doesn’t come in a glass but is injected into your arteries using a method called alcohol septal ablation. This is used to cure a disease which results in thickening of the heart muscles and causes sudden death. The procedure is minimally invasive and so, recovery is fast.



And why just your heart, alcohol can cure your vision as well. Beauty now lies in the eyes of the “beer holder” rather than the beholder. A new survey has concluded that men and women find each other better looking after a couple of drinks. Researchers found as little as a pint and a half of beer is enough to make everyone more desirable and the men are the worst affected. This distorted vision can last as long as 24 hours. Men don’t need much to let go of their senses, do they!

But look who took a long time to recover from the effects of the tipple! A Delta Airlines pilot was so drunk, that he could not remember where he was flying to. He flew off to New York even though his actual destination was Detroit. The poor fella has been jailed for six months. Aww but, why? Isn’t New York so much more fun than Detroit! I am sure the passengers will agree.

In another case of extreme forgetfulness, a man in Britain was reunited with his car after he forgot it in a car park three years ago. Gerald Sanctuary had parked the silver Honda saloon in an NCP car park when he went out shopping in May 2008, but the dementia sufferer sadly forgot where he had left it. It is still not clear whether he had left his wife behind at the car park as well. Darling, my sweetheart, munchkins I missed you so...err what was your name again? Oh, is that a Samsung in your hand, sorry my wife is much younger! Are you sure you are my wife?

And this one takes the cake! The Delhi government in its humble attempt to keep the burgeoning population in check has commissioned killer blue line buses as school buses in the future. The state transport minister aptly called Lovely – Arvind Singh Lovely, dismissed apprehensions that operating blue lines as school buses could pose safety worries. These demons on road may have a history of mowing down anything that moved in the periphery of their vision but the people were always safe, as long as they were inside the bus. Yet another thoughtful gesture by our government to show us that it cares!