Was my life a big fat lie?

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Since last week I have been in a state of distress – should I stop crouching under the table searching for cobwebs, bid adieu to my critically critical state and let go of my fetish for “out damn spot”. The whole purpose of my life has gone for a toss. The world doesn’t seem perfect anymore. Why should I be a stickler for punctuality now? Who cares! I now spend hours in front of the mirror asking myself the purpose of my life – who am I, was my life a big fat lie?

All because the Earth is wobbling and can’t get its act straight, the zodiac signs seem to playing musical chairs. The world is caught up in an astrological mess not of its own making. Earthlings are busy proclaiming their loyalty from their desktops – I am a fish, will always be. I thought I was hot, what went wrong with me. The Gemini is acting bullish and is worried that he will have to clean up his act – Are you telling me I can’t flirt with Miss this and that? Karan Johar is appalled that he might have to shift his loyalties from his favourite letter K. My Name is John? Much Much Hota Hai? Hrithik’s Roshan has dimmed – Papajee, will Krrish now be Eeesh? Ministers are running to their favourite astro baba – Has my ring of destiny changed. Shall I shift from sapphire to jade? Bejan Daruwala is huffing and puffing all the way to his neighbourhood water tank, only to stand on its top and scream....Sooooooside

I am trying hard to make a transition from the virtuous Virgo to the confused Leo. Err...should I gargle and practise my roar. Perhaps I should sharpen my claws and change my gait to a menacing prowl. Start lording over and act like a queen.

Then there is this added stress of an undesirable 13th. Wasn’t twelve enough? The name is a spelling bee champ’s dream come true – Ophiuchus! It’s a vowel overload and how the hell does one pronounce it. I prefer big – O. Sounds kind of cool, no? Actually I would have preferred being that opi something . Apparently Big-O traits include being a seeker of peace and harmony, interpreter of dreams, inventive and intuitive. This attractive species can either rise in life and find untold fame and wealth or be completely misunderstood and lead a miserable life. Almost like a character from an Ayn Rand book. Maa, couldn’t you have waited till November. What was the big hurry, really!!
 

But at least one thing is making sense. The husband and I had a doomed Virgo-Aquarius pairing. After reading Linda Goodman, I had tears in my eyes. Darling, Linda says our marriage will not survive. And now thanks to the tilt, my marriage is destined for a long innings. It will break my heart though to see my witty, classy, experimenting, water bearer become a fierce determined Capricorn. But the fun part is, now I am the lion and he is the goat. By God - what a union it will be.

And guys before you sign off..I have some good news to share. Err not THAT good news - my blog has been shortlisted in Best Of Blogosphere (Humour and Satire) category by blog junta. The bad news is, I am expected to canvass for votes. So here's the deal if you vote for me, jannat awaits you and if you don't.... remember that text you were expected to forward to at least 155 contacts (forward or else your are doomed to eternal damnation!) Jannat is just a click away.

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