May-hem..A Month That Was

The month saw an increasing number of our politicos getting inspired by Baba Ramdev. Quite a few of them are now trying to put their foot in their mouth with varying degrees of success. Jairam Ramesh went international and demonstrated this amazing feat with his effusive commentary in Beijing on the home ministry’s misplaced paranoia. Far from getting applauded for his carefully cultivated bonhomie with the Chinese, he received a swift rap on his knuckles. He is now sulking in silence. Nitin Gadakari not wanting to be left behind likened a couple of his fellow parliamentarians to the canine variety. The BJP president’s comparison of SP Chief Mulayam Singh Yadav and RJD supremo Lalu Yadav to dogs kowtowing to the Congress, evoked howls of protests. Gadakari is now busy licking his own wounds.

Our desi export Mallika Sherawat is also making friends, but of a slithery-slimy variety. The actor desperately promoting her latest flick Hiss at Cannes got cozy with live snakes during a photo call. The snake union has launched a complaint with PETA.

Talking about friendly neighbours, Pakistan took their new found love for Sania-bhabi to new levels. The tennis star has appeared on packets of a gutka brand, with the punch line “tazgi bhara ho ang ang, jab Sania bhabi gutka sang”. Wonder what Sania’s reaction is to this wonderfully fresh idea?



If you are in the capital, you can forget about getting married. No, Sheila Dixit’s government is not endorsing live-in relationships. From August to September almost all community centres in prime locations in Delhi will be taken over to house central paramilitary forces for the Common Wealth Games. It now makes sense to elope and get married. Me, I’d rather elope now, with or without a partner. North of India is experiencing the hottest summer in 100 years. All my cribbing about the unbearable heat is now justified.

Meanwhile in far off London, Harrods the store for the rich & the famous and wide eyed tourists now has a new owner. The Phony-Pharaoh, more popularly known as Mohamed Fayed grabbed the best option available to him, a £1.5 billion mountain of cash from a Qatari investment firm for his iconic store. May he now rest in peace.

Our cricket team’s paid vacation to the Caribbean islands came to an abrupt halt. Besides partying and letting their hair down, they were also expected to play for the T20 tournament. Unfortunately they lost all the super 8 matches. Limited overs, unlimited hangovers? Hic Hic Hurray!

And next time when you lecture your kid on the wonders of fibre, you can give Elvis Presley’s example. The King according to his personal physician died of constipation and not a drug overdose. Sounds credible, after all he did die in his lavatory. Elvis has not left the toilet, wonder if it’s haunted?

There’s bad news for men, the hot eye candy of a stranger now comes with a statutory health warning. Research shows (Don’t I love research) that just 5 minutes spent with a beautiful stranger, causes stress and may be bad for heart. In fact the anxiety level is similar to jumping from an aircraft. There’s bad news for women as well. Having a younger man for a husband apparently lowers your life expectancy. Older men with younger wives on the other hand get to live a longer life. What!! That boring old git comes with a lifetime guarantee and the toy boy on a limited period offer? Life is so unfair.